


Episode 1 - The Interview That Never Was

by Alabama_brown



Category: Robert California/Reader - Fandom, The Office (US)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 06:18:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16080215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alabama_brown/pseuds/Alabama_brown
Summary: An interview with Robert California that becomes excessively personal.





	Episode 1 - The Interview That Never Was

Since the beginning of my freelance journalist career, I had dreamed of interviewing Robert California. This dynamic ex-CEO of Dunder Mifflin had intrigued me for years. Several high profile publications had repeatedly tried to obtain articles about him but he consistently refused to meet with their representatives. What a privilege if I was the one he would agree to talk to!

Robert had recently returned from a 3 year overseas project where he had been mentoring a group of European female gymnasts and was currently recuperating before taking control of a multinational shipping company. I wrote to the generic email address he had used whilst working at Dunder Mifflin, told him how much I admired him and would be honoured to write an in-depth article about him, and somewhat blatantly included my CV and accompanying photo in the hope that he would see my request as genuine.

After nearly 5 weeks of no response, I reluctantly acknowledged to myself that if seasoned columnists had been unable to get to first base with Robert, what on earth had possessed me to believe I could have done any better? And that was if his email address was even valid after all this time.

Then one afternoon to my astonishment, I received the following email: “There is always a brave future ahead for those prepared to embrace the unknown. If you are such an individual, I would be delighted to meet with you. Robert.”

I sat in front of my laptop, hands trembling, as I read his response a second time. What did it mean? 

I had to face the real issue which was almost too embarrassing to admit - an interview with him was not the only thing I had dreamed of. Hadn’t I followed his public appearances with an increasing focus on the curve of his lips, the sound of his voice, the casual grace of his walk, his sexually ambiguous comments… I remembered one occasion where Robert was asked (inappropriately, I thought) about his stance on homosexuality and he stated “Sexuality is a spectrum. It’s a paradox to think of any sexual activity as normal. It gets better but it also gets vastly more complicated” and then smiled enigmatically as he walked off without any further explanation.

Yes, I think I was just the sort of individual he was referring to in his email.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

I’m standing outside a dark blue door that is completely plain except for a shuttered grille at eye level. Following Robert’s written instructions, I knock as loudly as possible and wait. After a few moments, a panel behind the grille slides open and although I can’t see anyone, I say “Robert”. The panel is closed and the door opens. I enter cautiously and face the distinctive white face, red lips and elaborately decorated hairstyle of a geisha who wears an exquisite blue and gold kimono. She bows and gestures towards some carpeted stairs, at the bottom of which hangs a thick ivory silk curtain across a doorway.

I descend, part the curtain and walk into a vast room, exquisitely illuminated with small crystal chandeliers whose pendants shoot rainbows in all directions. The carpet is obviously expensive and lush, the sofas and armchairs arranged strategically in intimate groups. A bar at one end of the room is backlit with a muted yellow light and behind it, a wall of dazzling coloured spirits and liqueurs arranged on glass shelves.

I become aware that there are quite a few people in this room but because of the tasteful lighting and the thick carpet, nothing is obtrusive.

For a moment I am confused – have I come to the wrong address? Well the geisha at the door had responded to my “password” so this has to be where Robert wants me to interview him. My heart sinks - has he picked a public location so there will be no chance of anything improper? The likelihood of anything erotic happening is so improbable and outrageous that I almost feel ashamed of entertaining such fantasies… almost.

As I stand there like an idiot gawping around the room, a figure in black detaches itself from a small group of men against the bar and strolls over.

“Ah here you are!” exclaims Robert California, standing in front of me and running his gaze quite deliberately from my face down my body and back up again in what I would have considered an insolent manner had anyone else done it. He tilts his head and smiles, eyes alight behind his glasses with some emotion I can’t fathom. “Do you know, I was afraid I had made a terrible mistake in agreeing to see you – and I don’t tend to make mistakes - but now that I see you in the flesh… well...” He makes a dismissive hand gesture. “That head shot you sent me really does you no favours!”

All I can do is look at him. Robert California is not a tall man – in fact, we’re nearly the same height – but he is solid, charismatic and seems to fill the room with an intense energy.

“Come!” he exclaims. “Let me show you around.” And he takes my hand… my hand … his hand… everything in the world shrinks down to the sensation of his fingers around my hand… I can’t move. One minute after meeting him and I’m melting! Surely he must be aware of what effect he has on me.

Robert turns back with a slight frown. “Is there anything wrong?”

“I… I’m sorry but…” I glance down at our hands.

For a moment he appears quizzical and then suddenly beams at me. “Let me tell you something. When a rabbit is hit by a car, it’s the rabbit’s choice. If it stands in the middle of the road, totally petrified by the headlights, that is not the car’s doing. Do you understand what I mean?” He nods at me, still holding my hand.

He is so weird! It occurs to me that this is a pivotal moment. From what little I have gleaned about this extraordinary man, he welcomes the bizarre, the perverted, the unusual. If I’m to capture his attention (which I seem to have done so far), I have to follow my instincts and do something unanticipated that will appeal to him. If his hand touching mine has this kind of impact, what would it be like to be naked with him? Dear god, I have this one chance! 

“You mean if I were to do this…” I say and pull him towards me. He is so surprised that he doesn’t resist. I pull my hand away from his, place my palms on either side of his face and bite his lower lip hard. “…would you now say you were the rabbit and I was the car?” I continue, my lips against his. 

There is a silence and I think I have made the biggest fool of myself in living history. Our faces are almost touching and behind his glasses I can see his bronze eyelashes blink once… twice… I feel his breath. I hold his gaze if only because this might be the one opportunity of being so close to him but I lower my hands and clench them together, ready to die of embarrassment. Have I misjudged him?

Robert suddenly breaks into a genuinely hearty laugh and throws his arms around me. “I knew it!” he exclaims happily. “I said I don’t make mistakes. We need to leave.” And abruptly he turns and leads the way back across the room and up the stairs. He and the geisha bow low to each other. “Ikoko, you are memorable as always” he murmurs and she smiles at him in a way that suggests they might have a history together. She opens the door for us and we step outside into the night, the door closing gently behind us.

There is no warning – one minute we are standing on the footpath and the next Robert has me pressed against the wall of the building we have emerged from, his body against mine and his hands clutching my shoulders. “What you thought was a rabbit is actually a wolf” he says in a low voice. “That’s your mistake. But it’s understandable and…” he pauses to lick his lips distractedly “…quite fascinating.”

I start to put my arms around him but he backs away and said “We’ll get a cab” as he moves to the curb and hails one successfully. We get into the back seat and he gives the driver an address, then sits back contentedly. “I love travelling in cabs” he states. “They reduce one to such a… common element!”

“Of all people, you’re certainly not common!” I exclaim.

He turns to me and unexpectedly grins. “Being common can be quite liberating” he says. “You should try it.”

What a very strange man! How far does this eccentricity extend? I experience an apprehensive quiver between my legs as I say “Why did you ask me to meet you at that club?”

“Because if our meeting proved to be disappointing, I heard there’s an erotic asphyxiation room that they’ve newly installed – with a viewing window. I have to confess I was quite captivated about the idea.” He shrugs and smiles. “But our encounter was definitely not disappointing and I think we are curious about each other, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes” I say.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Robert’s open plan apartment is impressive – 20 foot ceilings, split level living area, marble topped kitchen benches and a recurring colour scheme of bronze and pale yellows with burgundy finishes, set off by an extensive display of jade figurines, painted wooden sculptures, multi-coloured dance masks and a wall hanging of graceful flying cranes.

“This is lovely!” I exclaim, standing in front of a painting depicting an Asian woman wearing blue robes reclining under a flowering cherry tree while she smokes a long stemmed pipe.

Robert inspects the painting with a slightly vague expression and then his face brightens. “Oh yes – the opium smoker! Amazing stuff…” he pauses and licks his lips again. I’m not sure whether he is referring to the painting or to the drug itself. “I met this extraordinarily talented Korean man called Myong-Bok who happened to be an interior decorator. He was responsible for sourcing most of this…” He waves a hand to indicate the artwork and then turns to me. “Did you know that many Korean men are metrosexual? They wear makeup and dye their hair.” He shakes his head. “It can be quite difficult to distinguish the ones who are truly straight from those who aren’t. If you saw Myong-Bok, you wouldn’t have a clue what his predilections are!”

And just when I’m certain things are going totally off track, Robert’s arms are around me and his mouth is against my ear. “Tell me something you would find memorable” he murmurs. His voice is soft and deep and I think irrationally that if a block of Cadbury Caramello chocolate could speak, this is what it would sound like.

There are more answers to his question than he could ever imagine but I want to start modestly – I’m not going to admit to any of the depravities I want to indulge with him yet. I’ve never tried any of them and he might expect me to know more about what I’m doing than I actually do. Best to start at a Beginner level. OK… here we go… “Um… having an orgasm with you.”

“Ah.” He leans his head back to observe me and slides his hands down my arms to encircle my wrists. Goose bumps… “Vanilla. Hmm… we can do something better than that…” He is thoughtful for a moment, then “Take everything off except your underwear.” He walks away to the large window at the end of the apartment. With his back to me, he says “Tell me when you’ve done that.”

This is not what I’d imagined but surely it’s patently obvious by now that nothing about this man is going to be straightforward. I remove my clothing and put it on a sofa. I am acutely aware that I’m only wearing a little lacy bra and undies and he is fully dressed, a circumstance that leaves me exposed and extremely aroused.

“OK.”

He turns and faces me. “Mmm…” I fight the urge to pick up my clothing and hold it in front of me. Robert returns to my side and pulls out a length of pale blue silk material from his pocket. “Always be prepared” he purrs, wrapping the scarf across my eyes and tying it firmly behind my head. I reach out my hands to touch him but he has moved behind me.

“Removing some of your senses serves to heighten others” he says. “Now I’m going to touch you. Don’t move and be completely quiet. If you make the slightest noise… anything at all… I will stop. Can you do that?”

“I don’t know” I say in a voice that doesn’t sound like mine.

“Consider it a worthwhile challenge” he declares reassuringly. I don’t think it’s worthwhile at all – I want to see him naked, have him on top of me, inside me - all the things I’ve fantasised about… I don’t want to start with mind games. His fingers stroke the front of my neck, move down between my breasts. I catch my breath audibly.

“Sshh” says Robert quietly, his hand resting on my stomach. He’s so close that I can feel the heat of his body all the way down my back.

Suddenly the peaceful sound of a Stan Getz CD fills the room.

“My timer has bad timing” states Robert grumpily. “Those electronics are pathetic.”

“I’m sorry” I apologise, turning to where I know he’s standing. “I don’t know what to do. It’s all a bit overwhelming. Maybe I am too vanilla for your liking but… I really didn’t expect to be standing here almost naked in front of you when we’ve only just met and I can’t see you and I don’t think I can be that blasé about all this and what you did just then was almost unbearable and…”

“Sshh” he says again. “Don’t overthink it. There are so many ways to approach where we’re going.” He exhales and unties the blindfold. “Sometimes I forget myself.”

He removes his glasses and places them carefully on top of a small table; then, taking my hand, he leads me into his bedroom (minimalist, classy, warm tones, the two bear skins from his previous home, a sleigh designed king sized bed) where at last AT LAST he takes me in his arms our lips touch (who would have thought Robert California could kiss so sweetly?) he whispers “open your mouth” runs his tongue gently across the inside of my lower lip looks into my eyes direct what is he thinking and my fingers are buried in his rich auburn hair which is curly and too long and unruly yes I knew it would feel like this mussed up bed hair and…

he moves away from me and unbuttons his shirt, scrutinising me carefully too slow so slow taking it off and draping it over a chair oh he is so sexy I’ve removed my bra and undies left them on the floor walking towards him he undoes his belt still too slow how long can I endure this unzips his fly steps out of his trousers no underwear I want to see him but he is holding my shoulders and walking me backwards to his bed where we fall down collapse disintegrate his kissing becoming more intense my heart racing wildly open mouths eating each other can’t get close enough his total intensity overwhelming and I hear myself whimpering against his face “I want you I want you this is not enough fuck me I don’t care how you can do anything anything”…

Robert pulls back and looks into my face, amused. A sheen of sweat is on his forehead and he is breathing heavily. “Well well, the animals have surfaced” he says softly. “Better not keep them waiting.” And with a deep sigh, he gathers me into his arms. “Ready?”

no no he’s too big I can’t do this yes I can oh god that’s so GOOD his cock is inside me his chest hair pressed against my breasts rubbing rubbing we move I moan with every thrust he nuzzles my face whispers “gentle… relax…” so I do and he surprises me with a strong push that takes my breath away he’s all the way in and I grip him hold him so he gasps and we have a rhythm going and building…

He stops, his beautiful mouth curved in a smile. Then his face is buried in my neck, his breath hot, his hands moving down my sides and between us, fingers exploring where we are joined oh my he knows what he’s doing and now he’s observing me again, watching my reaction to the stroking and circling of his fingers. I bite his shoulder and spread my legs wider and see his eyes become dark and more intense as he caresses and rubs so perfectly and my whole body becomes tighter and tighter head spinning focussed in that one place and suddenly the world explodes and I’m making ridiculous noises and freefalling but he has me holding me murmuring things into my ear – is he speaking in Japanese??

a few moments of calm and then “don’t ever settle for one” he says in that deep quiet voice “my finger is still there… stroking you… I have my thumb… there… two fingers… ” I orgasm again so violently that I almost buck us clear off the bed. “Spectacular!” he says admiringly and licks the corner of my mouth with the tip of his tongue.

“You didn’t actually touch me that time, did you?” I pant.

“No.” As we lie there, my body still on fire, all I can think of is how I want to see him come.

“It’s your turn” I say and move us so I’m sitting on him. I start moving slowly, teasing him, sliding myself up and down that amazing cock, my hands pressed against his chest for support. He stares at me, intense, focussed. I move faster and suddenly he grabs my hips and holds me still while he pumps into me again and again and cries out something (he is speaking Japanese!) before collapsing back against the pillows. To see his face at this intimate moment is awe-inspiring. I can understand why people get carried away and write poetry to their lover, paint glorious portraits, write music to make the angels weep… oh dear – he is as splendid as I had hoped and then some!

__________________________________________________________________________

Well, this was a night I’ll remember for the rest of my life. I doubt he’s the sort of person who does repeats. I envisage the days and weeks ahead – always thinking about him, his face, his voice, what we did… what we could have done… am I sexy and exciting and captivating enough to retain this man’s attention? And what did he say when he orgasmed?

I retrieve my bra and undies from the floor, the rest of my clothing from the living room and disappear into the bathroom where I dress and splash cold water on my face in a futile attempt to return to reality. I walk into the living area and say, not looking him where he is sitting comfortably on the sofa scrutinising his mobile “I’ll get an Uber. Before I go… I hope you don’t mind me asking… what did you say when you came? Were you speaking in Japanese?”

“Ah yes!” says Robert cheerfully. “I trained as a geisha once with Ikoko who you met at the club. There were some charming aspects to it, particularly the discipline.”

The evening was drawing to a close and I didn’t know where this left us. In desperation, I blurted out all the things I had vowed to myself I wouldn’t. 

“This was all so rushed and you told me not to overthink things but you have no idea what I’m thinking! I want you to put a dog collar and lead on me and walk me through Central Park! I want to do you with a dildo!” (slight twitch of his lips) “I want to give you a slow hand job in a classy restaurant while you’re forced to keep a straight face so no one is aware!” (tic under his left eye) “I want to drive you crazy, then stop, then continue so you’re begging me to finish, then I’ll leave you and go home. I don’t think there’s a limit to what I’m thinking! And goodness knows what YOU might be thinking…”

After a moment, he tilts his head slightly and smiles sweetly at me. “We never did have that interview, did we, for which I am profoundly grateful! Shall we have dinner tomorrow night? There’s the most delightful bistro I know with a very unusual floor show that I think you might find amusing.”

“OK” I say. “And after that, I’d like to hear what you would find memorable. The animals are already a little restless again.”

“Oh I intend to tell you!” he exclaims, studying my face. “As I said, there are many ways to approach where we’re going.”


End file.
